There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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