I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
