i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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