part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize