dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
