I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
