it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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