I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
