oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
