hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
