When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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