handjob tips. give me some.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
