I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I will be naked everywhere
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
whose parrot is this?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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