We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
