We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
