I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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