it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
