it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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