You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
