Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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