HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
