his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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