Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
