I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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