Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
