woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
