i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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