so that wasnt chicken after all
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize