Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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