I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
