Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
