Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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