im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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