that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
