3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
