That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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