yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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