I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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