You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
