Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
