did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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