The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it