Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.