I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Randomize
