1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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