I hate all girls vehemently.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You're like the curious george of whores
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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