I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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