Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
