i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
