I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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