we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
