she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize