You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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