I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
