Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
