distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
