Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
