Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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