I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
