Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
