if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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