I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
