I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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