i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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